what are you a afraid of?

I am afraid of losing the ones I love.  Terrified.  My worst fear.  Wait.  Actually worse would be if they lost me somehow.  Yes, that would be worse, the idea that my absence would cause them so much pain.  I just can’t bear it when I really think about it.  I don’t mean it in an ‘I’m-so-great’ kind of way.  I think you know what I mean…

I’m thinking about what a scary, powerful force love is.  Romantic or platonic, it changes your life forever.  When I think about the people I love and those who love me back, I realize how much we both have to lose and that scares me – intensely.  Life can change in the blink of an eye.  Everything you know right now can be transformed in a moment.  And we have to learn to adapt if we are to survive.  Of course, this is not a reason for turning your back or shying away from this force, this experience of love, because essentially, this is what makes us alive.  Just think of the things you do in the name of love.  It requires honesty and vulnerability (and those are hard things to give) but what you get in return is greater than words can ever say and money could ever buy. 

I am lucky to experience love.  I am grateful for the ones I share it with and am careful not to take any of it for granted.  But sometimes, this mighty force, it just scares me to death.