Friday, December 31, 2010

All the best.

I got a card today from my zio and zia in Calgary.  They quoted Alfred Lord Tennyson's "Ring out, Wild Bells".  It gave me such a nice feeling and I found it so appropriate that I thought I should share with all of you.  We all strive to be happy, or happier, or to maintain our happiness, but I think that cannot be achieved without being true to oneself.  This excerpt reminded me of that at a perfect time.

"... Ring out the old, ring in the new,
      Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
     The year is going, let him go;
     Ring out the false, ring in the true..."
                                                                        - A. Lord Tennyson

I sincerely wish you all a wonderful and continuously truer 2011. 


Thursday, December 23, 2010

end = begin

It's been a while...

Today was my last day at a job I really disliked.  I think I have been feeling sour because of it.  This is probably why you haven't heard from in a while.  How did this happen, you wonder?

Well, we moved to Frankfurt at the end of September, we settled in, my mom came to visit, we got married and all the while I was anxious about finding a job.  I had no clue what I would do here in this new city, but because there was so much commotion I knew that October and November were not going to be months where I would be working.  That was part of the plan already.  But like clock work, by December 1st, I had started a new job.  Initially I was very excited and super proud of myself.  I was going to be working at cafe at the airport.  Nothing crazy but I applied for the job and had an interview - all in German.  I was excited to be working in a busy place and get to really practice my German - with clients, but especially with co-workers.  Learning German is very important to me and I felt this was going to help me a lot.

I quit a week in!

In my first week, which consisted of 4 shifts, I realized certain things.  I realized that behind the scenes, the cafe was super old and in actual fact, nobody cared about it.  I mean, no was was going to invest any more money into it and hadn't for some time now.  It was a dying place.  The food quality was not as good as it looked, they didn't even have take away bags for clients - we were told to wrap stuff in tin foil if they want to take it away.  For me, professionalism and care were lacking.  I also learned that the company that ran this cafe also had some kind of agreement with the Mc Donalds in the terminal, and apparently we HAD to eat there.  We weren't allowed food from anywhere else.  I almost lost it.  I told a co-worker that I would not eat at McDonalds and that forcing us to is like physical abuse.  I told her I would bring my own lunch.  She warned me not to let anyone see it.  So obviously, my apprehension kept growing. The next thing I learned pushed me over the edge.  They make the schedule there a month in advance.  So December 1st, I had my schedule for the month.  During that first week, my schedule changed like three times.  Understandable, life is unpredictable - except that nobody called me to ask me if I could work those other days or even just to tell me!  Another co-worker told me this was a regular occurrence and that I should get used to it.  That was it.  No way!  I found that so disrespectful.  The next day I called and quit.  I told them I would finish my shifts for December.

So today I had my last shift.

I also realized I'd forgotten about a vow I made to myself when I left Canada.  It was that I would do my best not to have to work in another restaurant again.  I already have a nearly 10 year "career" in the service industry.  It really is the best job as a student.  You can make good cash in a short amount of time.  And since I love being a student - waitressing and bartending have always well supported that.  But at the end I was a bitter, bitter waitress.  I hated feeling like that.  Although, I have to give myself credit for always being professional with my clients even though I would go home and hate myself for it.  Oh, how many nights I would replay a scenario and think, "I should have said this ... or, I should have spilled the drink in his lap ... or, I should have just slapped her across the face!"  But no, smile and keep smiling and the customer is always right.  Ughh!  I hate it and I promised myself I would avoid the industry at all costs.  And there I was right back into it, whoring my emotions around once again.  I think I forgot about this promise because I was too curious to see how I would do in a German speaking environment.  Well, it wasn't so hard.  And once that became clear, the rest just came cascading down and it all fell apart.  I'm glad I got to do this little experiment, but at the same time I can't help but feel like I wasted some time.

I think this place was making me miserable.  I haven't been in the mood for much and I've been feeling overwhelmed for no reason.  But  tonight, I felt like I flew home from work.  Like suddenly I had wings and I was just soaring and carefree.  Man.  Hating your job is a very depressing.  I don't want to experience that again. Although, I have said that before.

So what now...?  I have a couple of ideas.  I'll let you know how the job situation is going in the new year.  But I can say one thing ... I'm going to be self employed.

'till later,

Monday, December 6, 2010

insp-i-love weekly

Hi guys!

Unfortunately, I haven't been all that inspired this week.  I'm kind of blah these days.  Yet, there are still a few things that I'd like to share.

1.  First, I can't help but think about Christmas recently.  Every store vitrine is screaming Christmas, the roofs are all still wearing a thin layer of white and the town Christmas lights are twinkling brightly every evening.  Almost every blog I read has a post about the holidays.  I found this great picture on Vosges Paris of an alternative Christmas tree.  It's especially great for someone like me, who's not all that into special-occasion decorating (at least not as of yet; who knows what the future holds, eh?).  If my walls were any other colour than white, I would definitely try this alternative Christmas tree idea.

2.  Now this article is interesting! Read it.  Would you take an age reversing drug?  I know we've all dreamed about it, wished for it ... but it seems it could really make an appearance sooner than we think, and suddenly I feel scared a bit - mixed with curiosity and excitement.  I look forward to more of their research.

3. And finally a fun little read about "Eat Pray Love" - even though I haven't even seen it, heehee.

How was your week?

I'm looking forward to a better one.

Xx. Holly

ps. here's another picture of a bicycle I took in Berlin in November. Some of you might not know this yet, but I just  love taking photos of bicycles.  I even love the word, especially in French: bicyclette.  I feel something special for bicycles.  In my heart, bikes are alive ... or something weird like that.  They belong to someone and that person depends on it.  And the bikes, they just sit there waiting patiently, loyally for their human friend to return.  Sometimes they can wait for days.  Sadly, some are abandoned or sometimes they get kidnapped.  Anyways ... here's the picture - don't think you've seen it yet.