They have crazy eyes and cool feathers. They are nocturnal predators. They make crazy sounds in the night. Their heads can turn at surprising angles and they have strong feet like raptors. They are as intimidating and beautiful as they are goofy and cute.
I have a lot of plans. I want to experiment with a lot of things. Usually they are creative artsy things. Lately, I want to improve my sewing and knitting and make some nice clothing for myself. I also want to start painting again but with acrylics (instead of oils as I have done before). I would also love to learn to play piano. And lately I think about maybe one day writing a children's book. These illustrators and print artists I've come across recently are probably responsible for encouraging that idea. I love their work and find them inspiring and would like to share that pleasure with you. Imagine how great my "book" would be if one of these lades did the illustrations? Oh man, there are just too many things happening in that imagination of mine.
I have a slight problem with my long term memory. I've noticed that I have many less childhood memories than anyone else I've met. Not only childhood, but even from like five years ago. I feel like I do remember things but I don't feel the memories ... if you know what I mean. It's like they're not real or very vague or they don't belong to me or something.
But every once in a while, very rarely, something triggers a memory that I really feel, really experience. Like right now for example. I was sitting at my desk working. The radio was on quietly in the background. I'm concentrated on my work but my attention is distracted for a moment by a song that comes on. It's Ironic by Alanis Morissette. And suddenly I remember when my sister and I acquired the Jagged Little Pill album on cassette. We played those songs over and over and over. I remember the feeling of sitting in the alcove upstairs and hearing the notes of the song floating through the air in the house, probably coming from one of our bedrooms. I remember that my parents liked that song too, and my dad would call my sister and I his jagged little pill-s. And I am filled with a powerful sadness. Not in the memory but in the present, remembering that memory. I feel sad that these simple happy moments are gone, never to be retrieved. I'm suddenly aware of all this time that has passed - I just can't believe it, and my eyes are filled with tears. It's totally overwhelming.
This makes me think that my memory problem probably has nothing to do with a suppressed traumatic experience, or a brain malfunction. I think the reason why I don't remember things well is due to a protective mechanism - if I were to always remember things so intensely and accurately I'd probably be crying all the time.
I've been pretty non committed to my blog these days because there has been lots going on. Now, it's time to share these happenings with you.
As you may know, my husband is back from his first phase of flight training in Florida. He did really well and I'm so proud of him. He had a couple of free days before starting ground school again and we spent that time doing absolutely nothing besides enjoying each others company, taking afternoon naps, watching our favourite tv series, drinking latte macchiatos and having long chats. It was great. But soon enough, the routine began. I'm happy about that too because I enjoy our routine.
My routine has changed slightly in the last couple of weeks because I got a new job! Finally. And it's the most perfect job I could ask for at this time. I am studying interior design and I've been looking to do something related to my studies. But it's hard to, especially as a foreigner. I was thinking of just volunteering my time at a firm, which would be great experience but what about paying the bills? Then, one of my favourite design sites that I read almost everyday announced they needed bloggers for their website. I applied and they hired me! So now I blog about things I love everyday. I couldn't be more satisfied.
The site is called Trendir. Click here, here and here to read some of my posts. I usually write in the Interiors section of the website - so you know where to look if you're interested :)
After writing my posts, I try to get some exercise and then work on my school projects until Pauli gets home. After dinner, it's more school work and searching the internet for more things to write about tomorrow. I should be making more time for progressing some new hobbies of mine (sewing and knitting) and reading my book - but these will have to wait until I'm done the last five assignments of my diploma. And these last five are BIG assignments. I need to finish them by end of April if I want to have three solid months to complete my final project. I imagine I may become a hermit in these next months. But I'm determined to finish them on time.
Now, the last thing I wanted to tell you about is that I've decided to stop doing "ins-i-love" on a weekly basis. I feel too guilty when I don't post anything and I don't believe inspiration should be forced. So instead I added a "Collection Page". See it on top there...a new tab. I will post things I love and that inspire me as they arise so keep looking there if you are interested in knowing what they are.
I am so happy I stumbled across this video on Ted about the Khan Academy. Their goal is to change education as we know it. I'm sure that anyone who has gone to school has thought to themselves at one time or another, "This system sucks", or "This doesn't seem right". I know I have. Everything about it seems backwards. From grade school to University level. I remember feeling like the set up was not allowing me to maximize my potential. I remember times when I feelt like I hadn't really grasped a concept yet, but no matter...time to move to the next subject or the next chapter. In essence this led me to develop excellent bullshitting skills. If you can't understand it in the given amount of time, memorize some key concepts and bullshit your way through - get that 60% forget about it and move on. Or worse, get a 90% and congratulate yourself for pulling a fast one. I really feel because of this I suffer from the "swiss cheese" syndrome (watch the video to know what I mean). Another issue is the competition factor. You want to be the best, you want the highest grades, you need that diploma, and you'll do anything to get them because of the significance this holds for your future. Even though it may mean you have to cheat, or bullshit, which is in fact cheating yourself. Therefore, you learn to store masses amounts of info in your short term memory before the test or the exam. Two weeks later, it's gone. What good is that in the long run? Learning should be fun and something that we value and accumulate over time. It should be something we genuinely want - not a chore we have to do with the only intent to get ahead so that we may achieve success and wealth. We should want to get ahead of ourselves, not of others. "Personal competition" is not encouraged in the current system. Of course, in some instances, the competition and the pressure and the lack of human interaction in the classroom (hence, the feeling of lack of support) gets too great. If you can't keep up, you fall behind, get labeled as a failure and it's a downward spiral from there. It takes an enormous amount of energy to get out of that, if you do at all.
The Kahn Academy is suggesting a reversal in the classroom. Watch the lectures online at home and do your homework in the classroom, with real help from your teachers and peers. What this is actually doing is using technology (which we think of as a buzz killer for human interaction) and using it to create a more human experience in the classroom. So instead of your teacher giving a lecture and sending you home with homework and problems you have to figure out on your own, the teacher can actually be there to reinforce what you learn and give you their attention. If you want a teacher's attention these days, you have to stay after class or make an appointment during office hours. Essentially you are being punished for wanting to actually learn. Lazy teachers beware. This might not be the right job for you in the near future (hopefully).
I encourage you to watch this video and let me know what you think. Do you think this is a feasable idea? Could it actually work on a large scale?
I wish I knew about the Khan Academy when I needed some biology refreshment/reinforcement in University!
My husband Pauli is back from training in Florida and is sleeping on the couch. My cat Jack is also curled up and sleeping on his blanket. We're all back together under the same roof. {insert sign of relief here}.
I really can't believe we spent three months apart. I can't believe how easily Pauli slipped back into my life as if no time had passed. I was ready for an adjustment period, but no need I guess. It reminds me of the first time we moved in together in Montreal. Everyone said it would take some getting used to. Again, no time needed. It happened seamlessly and we were surprised about it. We were again equally surprised at the normalcy that followed our hectic move to Germany. Moving in together, moving to different country, spending extended periods of time apart - these are true tests to any relationship. So far they have left us unaffected. Actually, I shouldn't say that ... in a sense it all helped to solidify our bond.
I'm happy that my partner is back, he is here again to cook with me and keep me company when I brush my teeth before bed. Everything is back to normal.
